Äsch! Jag tänker på något annat istället

Jag minns så väl när jag bestämde mig för att lära mig metoden för sorgbearbetning. Året var 2010 och jag hade precis träffat Sean, min nuvarande man, och var då, som nu – upp över öronen förälskad.

En helg var Seans mamma, numera min svärmor, på besök. Vi pratade om livet i stort och jag minns att jag vid ett tillfälle delade med mig av en händelse i mitt liv som var väldigt jobbig. I samma andetag sa jag:

– Det var längesen det [händelsen] inträffade och det är inget jag direkt tänker på, eller som påverkar mig idag.

Men det visade sig vara helt fel.

Min svärmor, som redan då var certifierad handledare i sorgbearbetning, ställde nämligen ett par frågor som gjorde att jag kom till insikt – för oavsett hur många år som hade gått, pratade jag fortfarande om händelsen och hade gjort det många gånger sedan den inträffade. Jag blev dessutom ledsen varje gång den kom på tal.

Svart bälte i att tänka på något annat

Exempel på sorg - Brustet hjärta
Visste du att man kan dö av ett brustet hjärta?

Mitt sätt att hantera förluster var tidigare att tänka på något annat – men hur lätt är det? Efter att ha tränat på att tänka på något annat vid förluster och motgångar, i princip hela mitt liv, hade jag troligen svart bälte i det. Men med facit i hand, var det inte så hälsosamt.

Skulle jag ge samma råd om att tänka på något annat till någon som precis har brutit ett ben?

– Tänk på något annat, så ska du se att det snart blir bättre…

Nej, det känns inte så lämpligt att ge det som råd. I värsta fall skulle skadan kunna bli värre och konsekvenserna så stora att personen kanske inte skulle kunna använda benet.

Insikten fick mig att vilja lära mig metoden

Vad skiljer då egentligen en fysisk skada och smärtan upplevd i samband med den, jämfört med en känslomässig “skada”? Vad händer med vårt hjärta när vi drabbas av en förlust och inte bearbetar förlusten?

De här frågorna och insikten om mitt känslomässiga bagage räckte för att väcka mitt intresse för metoden och jag anmälde mig till en kurs i sorgbearbetning.

En av frågorna som min svärmor ställde till mig och som du kan ställa till dig själv, för att reflektera över din egen situation, är:

Finns det någonting i mitt liv som jag önskar vore annorlunda eller som jag hade velat ha mer av?

Sorgbearbetning är en konkret metod för att långsiktigt och bestående bearbeta sorg och smärta – oavsett vad som orsakat den.

Läs mer om de två varianterna av kursen här.

Kram
Malin

 

 

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  1. blanche wiklund Svara

    Kära älskade svärdotter,

    Din text berör mig till tårar. Tårar av både glädje och sorg!

    Jag känner en så innerlig glädje över så lite jag gjort för dig och som jag nu ser att du skriver betyder så mycket för dig!

    Sammantaget så upplever jag nu att det är livets mening när jag fått vara delaktig att göra skillnad i en älskad medmänniskas liv – i det här fallet syftar jag på dig, min älskade svärdotter!

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